Firstly let me write a disclaimer that I am a simple man, and while I’m not a fan of makeup caked on like Marzipan icing on a delicious Xmas fruit cake, it doesn’t mean everyman isn’t.

Now let’s begin…

Hair: Bed hair = hot. Beach hair = hot. My wife has the most amazing dark wavy hair, straight after she has washed it and it’s wavy it looks amazing, it also looks great just after she has been swimming and it’s curly and natural. I don’t get to witness my favourite hairstyles on her very often though as she straightens her hair everyday.

Natural coloured hair wins all the way too. If your hair colour comes from a bottle and has a name that sounds like something off the Resene colour chart at Bunnings, it’s probably time to re-evaluate.

Face: Nil make up, or maybe a tiny bit is the way to go.

Freckles are awesome, yet girls go out of their way to cover them up! Are they crazy?! Love freckles.

Don’t go crazy with the eye make up or lipstick either. We don’t want to date a circus clown. How embarrassing would it be to be at the fair and someone tries to put pingpong balls in your mouth because they think you’re part of that clown game? Shame on your face.

Nice natural shaped eyebrows are also amazing, eyes & eyebrows are apparently the first thing most people notice about the opposite sex, the windows to the soul.

Clothes: Not a huge fan of the high waisted shorts. They remind me of Abba and camel toe. Nice flowing dresses and comfy looking clothes are the way to go.

Shoes: Those massive heals can’t be that much fun and they are scary, plus you’re marking the floors, you’re a hazard driving in them and if you step on grass you’re going to sink in.

So I’ve basically described a gypsy. Gracious me. However, I don’t think I will be trawling arts and craft fairs looking for a princess who can make aeroplanes out of beer cans. Although that would be a sweet skill set.